Saturday * THREE
- My parents would have been married 51 years today.
- We take dad to lunch. He asks if we know what happened 51 years ago. ‘Yes,’ we all reply. Tears fill his eyes.
- My girl and I head out directly after lunch … Muncie, Indiana
- The drive is easy. We have much to talk about.
- I reschedule her birthday trip to accommodate the Ball State recruit schedule that weekend.
- What a beautiful campus! She’s in love.
- A drive. Dick’s. Panera take out.
- We find a Comfort Inn … long check-in because computer is down.
- Funny movies. Upcoming trip planning. Laughing. Bed at midnight.
- 1:44a an unexpected knock at the door.
Friday * TWO
- 6:24a. Meditation. Must make this a priority every day. Quietude is good but it’s not the same as meditation. Sitting. Staying. Observing.
- Feeling accomplished before 9a.
- Glazed salmon, herb mashed potatoes, mixed veggies. Iced non-fat chai latte.
- My first massage in months.
- 3:16p text “committed” … She did it. She’s playing D1 softball.
- Several calls with her. No trip next weekend + a change to the birthday trip. Not pissed, hurt. Always secondary.
- I choose not to talk with her about it. It does no good. The statement “paybacks are hell” slips back into my psyche from the past. Those are words I’ll never say to anyone because I know how they feel hearing them.
- Learning to keep my mouth shut. Emotions are hard to navigate but they do come and go as quickly as the wind.
- Passport arrives, “adventure awaits” I text.
- I wonder what he’s up to.
- Our lives are made up of moments. How do we fully live in them? Do we really want to? What if the memories are as good or better than the moments themselves?
Thursday * ONE
- Homemade laundry soap: one lavender, one wild orange, one patchouli and one lime. The laundry room smells amazing.
- Inviting laughter.
- Time to read.
- From happy and talkative last night to grumpy and curt this morning. I should have known better.
- Cool evening air as I sit on the front porch. I grab a blanket and a scarf.
- We are all just wingin it, some better than others.
- We decide our attitudes and demeanor.
- Solitude. Quietude.
- “Stop asking for permission.”
- Working through the issues — vanity and perfectionism.
- Texting with my brother. I didn’t screw this thing up. In fact I did pretty well. Why do I always seek validation?
H I ! I ‘ M H E A T H E R S A G E .
Years ago, when I began teaching yoga, I started a blog called namasteheather, named after my classic signature, namaste, heather. ✒︎ Clever, right? I wrote there for years then started to get more serious about writing and let it go. I’m so sad I did that! I would have over a decade of posts by now.
Life changes all the time. It’s the only constant.
I’m not teaching as much and am again drawn to blogging as a creative outlet. Medium has it’s place and I write there fairly often, but this is my place to write personally, a place to record the ways life is moving, and the things i’m learning — here and at soul fabric.
The 19 is our hOMe and this site simply chronicles life here. The topics are all over the place, but they are all things that interest me so I write about them. I hope you enjoy — and please say hello!