always reinventing

So much has changed in the past year, but I suppose we’re not alone.

Everything changes. All. The. Time.

We are all ever evolving human beings.

Life lives through us.

 

A year ago I never thought I’d not be teaching yoga regularly, and I certainly never thought I’d be enjoying a life without teaching in it. But I am. I feel more free than I have in a very long time.

When I was teaching, I was always on, and always switching gears. I was preaching a life of mindfulness but having a hard time living it because of the varied nature of my every day.

When I left full time government employment in 2008 to mostly teach yoga, I called the following year my ‘year of undoing’ as I unpacked an unwound conditioned patterns of behavior and a belief in the thought that I WAS a particular person because of the work I did.

Teaching was initially freeing because I was inventing myself and my offerings every day. But teaching along with a full workload of online media clients had me constantly switching from left brain to right, and sympathetic to parasympathetic. Something had to give.

Ten years later, I see that I am again in an undoing stage of life. I’ve become someone completely different through my teaching journey, and I’m happy I had those years. But I not longer wish to live that life.

As I look forward to teaching again at OU-L in the fall, I am contemplating the things I’ll bring forth in that teaching, how I’ll offer different aspects of the yoga that I practice today, with very little asana and a whole lotta awareness and embodiment. JUST teaching that one semester class each year feels perfect.

Soooo, evolvement … change … letting life decide the way to go. THAT feels right.

Sharing on social media no longer has the pull that it did when I was teaching, and as I explore the way energy moves through, I notice how much it drains and often completely changes me (in a not so good way). Yet, I feel called to share and to record our journey for a variety of reasons.

I let go of my regular website – that was weird. I no longer wish to advertise myself as a yoga teacher. Yoga has been the platform, and in some ways it continues to be. Yoga informs my life still but I’m more of a yoga educator than a yoga teacher. Or maybe I’m a yoga lifestyle advocate. Ultimately the labels don’t really matter.

I’m just me, and ‘just me’ is finally enough. I could not say that and mean it ten years ago. Beginning today, ON THE 19 is our/my (J rarely writes) new place to share the way life is unfolding.

When we first developed this site, it was a place to record the changes that were happening here — pre-land development, pre-home, pre-garden, pre-everything. We originally thought we’d own and operate a small farm and greenhouse business, and maybe some day we will. But those plans are not in the immediate future. J is busy with surveying work and I’m equally busy in my role as director of communication and marketing with a non-profit I now work for.

With that said, we both have a great many interests that we continue to pursue and I’ve neglected this site since we moved into the house.

The 19 always evolves and changes, as we do. It’s amazing to see the beauty of our amazing property take life each spring and summer. I love living here, and I love pursuing my passions through all the seasons.

Yoga, embodiment and mindfulness are a few of those passions. J’s gardening skills continue to amaze me and I continually remind him that he could be running a business, if only on the side. That needs to be chronicled.

We are right where we need to be and life will unfold as it is supposed to — in it’s own time. I’m interested in ‘conscious entertaining’ and am putting more effort into evolving the uniqueness of our hOMe, inside and out. I love to write and don’t have a ‘blog’ per se since most of my writing is for public consumption on Medium. Perhaps this site will be a vision board for where we’re going. I don’t know, and ultimately it doesn’t matter.

What does matter is living a life we love. I don’t want to neglect the life of this site any longer because it is our home and it’s our heart.

Soooo, if you’re here reading, know that more writing will come to this space, along with the beautiful images you’ve come to know and love of our beloved 19.

Stay tuned.